Although mythologies and fictions have recorded living creatures fully composed of inorganics, it is however hard to turn inorganic constituents into lifelike materials in reality as they usually do not possess characteristics required for constructing a living organism. Here, we report to our knowledge the first biomimetic hydrogel in response to both pH and temperature variations that solely comprises graphene oxide and water. The hydrogel is capable of abruptly and reversibly switching its mechanical and tribological properties by more than 10-fold and 5-fold magnitudes, respectively, as a result of pH- and/or thermal-induced topological reconfiguration of its internal microstructure and ordering. Such behavior closely mimics some natural living organisms such as muscles and sea cucumbers. The hydrogel also shows a low coefficient of friction at pH 2 and room temperature, indicating it a potent smart lubricant free of any flammable and toxic organic base oils and additives.